Brother: A Story of Autism
by Carlton and Bridget Hudgens
“Brother” – Carlton’s story of Autism – is an emotional story of a sister’s quest to connect with her brother, Carlton, who suffers from autism spectrum disorder. With Carlton’s inability to speak in full sentences for most of his childhood, Bridget learns how to communicate with her brother on a deeper level through selflessness and sacrifice. When they reach adulthood, Bridget and Carlton are forever bonded through understanding and unconditional love.
Publication Date: January 2018
Five Parent Take-Aways About Divorce
Your child needs “both” parents. Not the most liked in the moment.
The knee-jerk reaction for adults who get divorced with kids is to wage war through the kids. This is a huge mistake which will have dire emotional ramifications. The best thing to do early in the divorce is to reassure your child that both parents will continue to be in their lives, settle on a custody schedule, and honor it with consistency.
Deep down, the child will think it’s their fault. Remember that.
Sad, but true. Children don’t have the emotional maturity to process their parents divorcing. The default answer inside their minds will be “it’s because of me.” Constant reassurance that the split has nothing to do with the child cannot be overstated. The sooner you alleviate this from the child’s heart and mind, the better.
Act like the adult, not the child. They need parents now more than ever.
It’s human nature. Divorce usually brings out the worst in the adult. The stress of financial and emotional warfare will keep the parents in constant “battle mode.” Easier said than done, but it is important to put the children first and act like an adult. Whatever you do, do not wage war by using your children as a “messenger” to hurt the other parent. Keep the kids out of the middle.
“Co-parenting” is for the benefit of the child, not you. Act as if…
“Co-parenting” is just that. Parenting together to establish consistency and peace between both households. It is important for parents to support each other in front of the children. Learn to say “Yes” more than “No” and put your child’s needs first rather than your own. Co-parenting will set the child’s mind at ease that they still have both parents in their lives for the long haul.
The damage you do now to them will last a lifetime. Learn to count to 10.
Keep the mudslinging and parent critiquing at a zero. No, make that a negative zero. If you find yourself hearing something from your child that “came from the mom” or “from the dad,” bite your tongue and count to ten. Children, sometimes, find themselves reporting or relaying messages from the other household. Although you may be fuming inside, you’ll just have to learn to “table it” until you can speak the other parent directly. And never in the presence of the child.
ABOUT THE EXPERTS
Denis Scinta is a family lawyer who’s been practicing law for over 47 years in the Greater Amherst area of Buffalo, New York.